Pentimento

The Good, The Bad, and The Screwed Up

First the good:

The newest grandchild is reported to be a girl!

I am slowly, but surely, getting our two computers to connect and share. It is so hard to teach a new Dell old tricks. Today, I managed to hook up the scanner again to the old computer. Worked fine, and no major glitches. Yay, for once.

Now the Bad:

The summer seems to be flying by and I didn't even plant any flowers this year. I don't think I have ever done that. We had a very, very cool spring, and all the crops and flowers are late. Will we be having a longer summer then, or will the rains arrive in September like they are suppose to do?

I am nervous/happy that my husband is going to retire on August 1st. But I worry about money. Yeah, who doesn't?

The Screwed Up:

We always pay our dentist bills on time and usually in full when we get them. We have a new dentist and they are just getting their practice under control in the office dept. Today, we got a bill for my husband's new crown. The last time we were in there for our cleanings I asked if our previous bill had been submitted to insurance. It had been re-submitted. Fine, ok....

We have been waiting for them to get their act together (the doctors didn't know they had to alert the insurance companies when they had a physical change of address for the practice. So, they showed up as not preferred providers for us, leaving us with the whole bill.) and for them to send us a statement for a couple months now. Today, we finally got a statement and what do I see on it but interest charges! What?! They have been screwing up in submitting claims and I am suppose to pay them extra money because the bill has been languishing in their files for months while they wait for the insurance company to pay up? How can I know what to pay if they don't send me a bill?

I really hate having to call tomorrow and hashing this out, but they are not going to penalize me for their ineptitude! This is what happens when dentists retire and sell their practice...bleah!

The Floods And Other Random Thoughts

Iowa Flooding

I got an email today that made me wonder about this too: With all the flooding over a good part of Iowa, where is all the looting? Why hasn't the mainstream news picked up on this phenomenon? These people are actually helping each other! "We aren't in New Orleans Toto".  My email has been full of pictures and letters from family and friends who live in various parts of Iowa.  None of them have even seen this kind of destruction in their lifetimes. Here is a file of one of the emails with pictures that were sent to me.

Download charles_city_ia_flood_pics_2008.jpg

Computer Woes

It has been a very weird two days for me. We moved our old computer to the new desk and put the new computer together with the new wireless router so both of them could be online. As it turns out, our new computer (yes, it was a refurbished Dell, with a new flat panel monitor) is not working quite right, which made it really hard to set up the old computer so I could still be online. After a day of scratching my head and trying to get back online, I finally figured out what to do late tonight. I just hope I can get the new computer up and running like it should be. Nothing ever goes smoothly, does it? At least not where computers are concerned.

In Perspective

Putting things in perspective: I called an old friend today to see how she was doing and when her husband answered I knew that she must be getting worse. Twenty years ago my friend Deb had an operation for brain cancer. She opted for radiation rather than chemo. Why, I don't know. Anyway, through the years she has been getting progressively worse. Today, when I called I knew she was much worse. She could hardly talk to me, and she dropped the phone three times. I felt so bad for her, and it wouldn't surprise me if she is in the last stages of her life. I don't know that for sure, but I think that is what is happening. That damn radiation treatment is finally going to do her in. In a way, I wish it was over for her. No more suffering if it was. As for putting things in perspective, my life is pretty darn good compared to what she is going through.

 

I Just Wanted To Kill Him

Well, not kill in the literal sense, but I really wanted to scream loudly yesterday during our shopping trip to find a new TV stand. As we all know, unless you are independently wealthy, or the recipient of some priceless antiques (I am neither), most of the furniture you can buy these days for an affordable sum is particle board and bailing wire assembled. Even during the conversation with the lady who was helping us, she lamented that it is unusual to find real wood furniture anymore.

After making our choice of TV stand and getting the Suburban ready for loading, my husband decided that it was imperative that he put the bar across the back of the cargo area and then bungie cord the cabinet to the bar. Mind you, we were not going on the Oregon Trail, and all the streets around here are paved. With the exception of one of those damn speed bumps, it was all pretty smooth wherever we were going to be driving.

As he grunted and groaned and attempted to strap down that already heavy stand, that's when it happened. I had tried to tell him that it was probably not necessary because it "wasn't going anywhere" but he is of the mindset that he knows better than EVERYONE ELSE, so just as I was turning around to warn him that he was leaning on the glass of the door....CRACK! There it went.

I am not a screamer, and because I have fibromyalgia I try to keep my stress level down because it just makes me feel worse. So, I kept quiet until he said to me, "You don't have to act mad", "I'm OK, don't worry about me" followed by "It was just an accident", and I couldn't keep my opinion to myself any longer. I told him the reason I was mad was because he wouldn't listen to me and that we couldn't even get out of the parking lot of the store before he ****ed up what we'd just bought!

This isn't an isolated incident. He is routinely not careful with things. His actions show me that he is more interested in doing something faster than anyone else. His ego is going to be his undoing. Today, I had to order a new piece of glass to go in the door. So, our not-so-inexpensive TV stand just got $10 more expensive, and all because he is ALWAYS RIGHT. Not.

Blind Faith and Stairways to Heaven

As kids, we had the run of our rural neighborhood. Especially in summer, you could find us anywhere our bikes would take us. Other times though, we would explore the woods that were the boundary behind the big field that encircled our house. It was in the field behind our house that I tested my beliefs and faith in a higher being.

Our neighbors were the Watsons, a Catholic family whose children often talked about God and going to heaven by way of a ladder or staircase. I remember standing alone in that field, facing west and contemplating the possibility that such a thing could happen just by having faith that it would.

No doubt, I considered myself a very powerful being (I was actually quite naive) because as I stood there determining whether or not I wanted to envision that stairway to heaven, it occurred to me that if it came down I would cease to be me here on Earth. Keep in mind, I was probably only nine or ten years old at the time. The thing is, I truly believed it could happen. It's too bad that I have lost that blind faith and now I am a 57 year old cynic. Still, I am not ready to go out in the backyard and take a chance.

My Week So Far: Weird

This post has nothing to do with anything in particular, it is just a compilation of the stuff that has been going on in my life, or the lives of people I know. And, it is in no particular order.

Today, I was making out greeting cards and finding it very strange that I was sending sympathy cards to my grandchildren because they just lost their Great Grandmother suddenly last week. The other cards I was making out were to our good friend Robert who is retiring from the Navy on Friday after over 30 years of service to our nation. It might seem weird to some people that kids should be sent sympathy cards, but I firmly believe in acknowledging their grief and helping them through the healing process in any way I can. I guess it all seemed strange to me that the 6 and 7 year olds are getting sent sympathy cards and our friend is getting a retirement card. Life stages know no age I guess.

On Monday we signed our refinance paperwork and now we are just waiting for everything to get recorded, stamped, spindled and mutilated dispersed. We squeaked in and got a 5.5% rate, and for once we might have done something right. The title company lady said that the rates had gone back up again. Whew! We are patiently waiting for all to be final and our cash out to get in the bank so we can go ahead with paying off bills and getting work done on house projects. It's going to be a busy Home Improvement 101 summer.

It's funny how things work out...We were invited to our friend's retirement ceremony, but at the time we chose to not attend and ended up buying a new TV instead. Sounds low, I know, but we plan on visiting our friend and his wife this summer after he is retired and we can really enjoy a few days together. If we had gone to the ceremony then we might not have refi'd and missed a lower interest rate, along with being able to pay off bills so my husband can retire this year. Our son and his family will be at the ceremony (I hope!) to 'represent' us, and we won't get to tour the ship and see another long time family friend, but I guess all things work out the way they should. I liken it to not "pushing the river". 

My husband's uncle is in the early/middle stages of Alzheimer's and even though we live in WA state and he in Illinois, he has caused us some worry in the last month or so. He 'left' his wife and filed for divorce, tried to take money out of his savings in cash but the bank talked him into putting it in an account in his name. His wife does not have power of attorney so she is now having to figure out how to deal with all of this uncertainty. This affects us because this uncle ended up at my father-in-law's house and stayed there until they told him to go home and work things out with his wife. He did, but he had arrived with a pistol in his belongings and he asked his brother to hold on to it for him. When he went home the gun stayed with my father-in-law. Thank goodness. Not everyone in the family has a clear understanding of Alzheimer's symptoms (we do, but only because we sought out the knowledge) and it is hard to convince them that what John tells them is delusions and not real truths. John's wife called tonight to let us know how things are going with him home again, and we are powerless to help out with us being so far away. We just hope he doesn't get violent with her. Oh, and I forgot to mention, the wife has a brain tumor. They are both in their 70's.

My friend in Missouri, whom I have known for 36 years, called this week and she was telling me what a hard time she is having with her anxiety. As she talked to me about feeling so trapped in the house (she can't drive because she had radiation for brain cancer years ago) and since I have Season Affective Disorder, it made me wonder if she might have the same problem. She lives near St. Louis and they have had so much snow that she never sees the sun for much of the time. I can't tell the whole story here, but I suggested she look into getting a light box and she put her husband on the phone so I could explain what it was. Did I mention I am not a physician? I hope she can get some help, but once again, I can't do anything from here.

I don't take these things on voluntarily, they just happen. People feel safe telling me stuff. Why, I don't know cuz I don't have all the answers. Heck, if I did I would solve some of my own problems! I hope you are having a better week than I am.