UNIVERSAL
LAWS
*I added these
Law
of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose
will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law
of Gravity: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law
of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to
the stupidity of your act.
Law
of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal
and someone always answers.
Law
of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a
flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat
tire.
Variation
Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always
move faster than the one you are in now.
Law
of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
Law
of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with.
Law
of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
Law
of Bio-mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the
reach.
The
Coffee Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will
ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
Murphy's
Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will
have adjacent lockers.
Law
of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on the floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet or rug.
Law
of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
*Law of Printability: You download the the PDF file to fill out so you can get a $100 rebate on that expensive washer you just bought. After printing it you notice that the type is garbled and unreadable. You can only get the PDF file from one source, so how will you ever be able to print it off so you can send it in? Additional question: why can't they just let us fill out the rebate request online?
*Leaping Lizards Law: As you're jogging along the sidewalk you see there is a big rattlesnake ahead seconds before you get to it. The height of your leap over the snake is directly proportional to the length of the reptile. (With millimeters to spare).
Care to add any of your own, just for fun?
