Pentimento

Redneck Seafood Dinner

Now, this is just funny. It might be cute just to serve to kids too. Maybe the same thing? ;)

Saying It Like It Is: Casa D' Ice

I don't really think this can be classified as "humor", more like commentary. What do you think? I agree with most of the signs at Casa D' Ice. Have you visited their site, or seen the place in person?

Yak-ity Yak Don't Come Back

OK, this is a new one on me. No cute puppies or kitties for this guy. He brought a big one to work. Wonder what he uses for a pooper scooper in the office...

One day, long ago...

One day, long, long ago.......

                              there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or b*tch.


                              But this was a long time ago.......

                              and it was just that one day. (Men saw to that)

                              The End

Indoor UFO's?

It arrived on Thursday. We knew it was coming, but it was much more amazing than we expected. Glowing all day and long into the night. Long after sundown, close to 8 PM it was still there in plain sight. Oh, OK, it's our new solatube we put in the family room. We plan on walling off one end of the family room and making it into a laundry room/half bath eventually.

When we went to a home show a few weeks ago the company we used (Hanley Construction) for our new roof was having a promotion where if you signed up at the home show for a new roof that they would install one of these light tubes for free. I called and asked if we would be able to take advantage of that offer even though our roof was completed the week before. At first, I was told "no", even though I pointed out that we had just paid them $15K for the new roof. They came back with a counter offer where we would pay $400 and they would do the labor for free. I was really hoping for the home show deal, and told them so, but we talked it over and I called them a couple weeks later to see what had been decided.

During the time of the roofing job someone had accidentally broken our hose reel on the back side of the house, and to replace it would be around $50, so I asked Hanley if we could take $50 off the $400 price and call it even. That was agreeable, and the appointment was made for the solatube install for April 9th. The actual tube that was installed was a CrystaLite, not a Solatube, but they are very similar in application.

Just a little side note to this story. One young man showed up to do the job and he was right on time, polite and got right to work. He did have some tools in one hand and a coffee cup in the other, but he put the travel mug down and got going. The day before my husband had done all the measuring of approximately where we thought the tube could go (we have a French hip roof, so the ridge had to be considered, as well as the ceiling beams, etc.) and gone into the attic to move the blown-in insulation out of the way, put down boards for the guy to kneel on, ran a drop cord for his electrical tools and moved everything out of the way to make the job go easier and faster for whomever might do it.

The young guy was here by 8 AM, and as I said, got right on the job. About half way through though, as he was making several trips up and down the ladder I noticed he had his cell phone up to his ear. It obviously was not a "work" call because those are usually short so the guy can work. I hate to be negative about any of this particular job because the kid was so nice and did good work. But I question him going up and down an extension ladder with one hand (or none) with this cell phone. I believe in working smart, even in a small job like this.

The other thing that I noticed was that when he cut into the ceiling in the family room he used a reciprocating saw. I have watched enough home improvement shows now to know that there are ways to cut down on the mess and dust, but the main concern I had was that this guy had NO dust mask on and he hadn't even opened the patio door to allow some of that dust to blow out. I happened to look in the room through the passage door from the kitchen and saw all this dust and asked in a friendly but astonished tone, "Where is your mask?". Hell, I don't know if there is asbestos or something in the popcorn ceiling and maybe I have been exposed to it now too!? But what about him working this way all the time?

This Is Just Wrong, Right?

This gal was seen at a tractor pull...   Look real close at this "tank top".  Sometimes, I hold no hope for this country.

How Generation Y Got Its Name

In its January 22, 2008 edition, the Quebec City newspaper, Le Soleil, had a topic about generations by age group.

Generations are grouped as follows:

The Silent generation, people born before 1945.

The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961.

Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976.

Generation Y, people born between 1977 and 1989.

For the last one, one can ask why Y?... A caricaturist explains it eloquently below...

Hmmm....Methinks they may have something here!

First Grade Humor

Our grandson is in first grade...I wonder what he would say in response to some of these sayings.

FIRST GRADERS

A first-grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class, and

she presented each child in her class the first half of a well-known

proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their

insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these

are first graders, 6-year-olds.

1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.

2. Strike while the........................................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before.....................Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ........ termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ......... how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ............. looks dirty.

7. No news is.........................................impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............................... Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ......... stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust .............. me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ................... pigs.

13. An idle mind is...............................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.

15. Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ....................... not much.

17. Two's company, three's .......................... the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and .........you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as .................... Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ........... spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ............. get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you ..........see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind ....................... get out of the way.

25. Better late than ........pregnant.

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Initiation

My husband was stationed at McChord AFB when I met him 36 years ago. His MOS was telephone maintenance, and when I met him he was already a sergeant, meaning that he had been in that job for a few years. Long enough to learn the ropes, and how to deal with the new guys coming in.

There were two areas in which they worked. “Inside shop” was where all the switching and main wiring took place. “Outside shop” was located up in what they called “the castle”, located in the barracks where he slept.

Now and then, they would get a new guy in that was not quite up to speed on telephone maintenance. Or else, he was a know-it-all pain-in-the-ass who needed an attitude adjustment. Just for giggles, they would send these kinds of guys out for some blue dial tone that could only be obtained from the outside shop.

Once the guy left, a call was made to the outside shop alerting them that “ Airman so-and-so” was on the way, and to have a box ready for him. When the guy arrived, he was given the box of rocks and anything else heavy, and told to hurry up and take it back to the inside shop. Once back at the inside shop the box would be opened and cursing would ensue because they had sent red dial tone, not blue. So they would send the guy back to the outside shop to get the right color.

This went on until the guy finally figured it out. Some took longer than others. It was just an innocent initiation, and it served to put everyone on a level playing field. Oh, and it was funny!

Church Bulletins

They're baaack! Church Bulletins. Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss C harlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to t he addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Code 911

Code 911
By Kitsap Sun staff
January 13, 2007

Snow Sculptor’s Work Unappreciated Bremerton


A police officer on patrol late Friday morning noticed an unusual sculpture made of snow in Evergreen-Rotary Park.

It was a depiction of a large penis flat on the ground, in clear view from all points in the park. Several people complained to the officer about the piece.

A city parks worker was asked to kick it down. [Ouch! Yeah, we don't want anyone catching a police officer kicking any snow penises.]

When A Thong Is Just Wrong

I suppose many of you will think this was just a stunt someone did, but after living in Florida for 4 years, I can tell you with some authority that people will be seen on the beach in almost anything, including thongs on women who make it really look like dental floss.

Should I have saved this for Wordless Wednesday?

Re: Uterus Transplant

"A New York hospital is taking steps to offer the nation’s first uterus transplant, a radical experiment that might allow women whose wombs were removed or are defective to bear children."

OK, I have just one question: If they can do this for women, how about for men? I mean, we live in an equal opportunity world, right? Shouldn't men be 'allowed' to experience the joy of carrying and giving birth to the equivalent of a large watermelon?

You think I am kidding? Read this article about Men Giving Birth. Just one thing though, when those guys get to lactating, it is not going to be a pretty sight. You know there will be squirting contests.